On the Fence

Our trip to the cardiologist today confirmed this delightful fact: 2010 will be the first year of Olive's life without open heart surgery!

We are grateful to so many of you for your prayers, good thoughts, and encouraging words. For six months we have been "watching & waiting" for this followup appointment -- and one of three possible bits of news. We received the best of the choices - which is that we will check again in 6 months. As expected, the constriction in Olive's implanted artery remains. Dr. Long explained it this way: "She is walking a fence that we are not comfortable with. I had expected to see her on the wrong side of the fence at this visit -- it turns out, she is still sitting on the fence."

While we would prefer that she not be anywhere near the damn fence -- sitting on it is better than climbing over. The six months we have been given will bring us just before Olive's 3rd birthday. She will be bigger, stronger, and even healthier than she already is. We will prepare ourselves during these months for whatever phase we enter next.

I know I say this all the time, but thanks for the prayers. We don't believe that praying is like playing the lottery; afterall, there's no lucky ticket and whomever has the most doesn't necessarily win. What we do believe is that God is honored by the process.

We want our lives to honor God - and we want our girl's life to do the same.

We're thankful for the thoughts & well wishes from our friends who are atheists, agnostics, and practioners of any number of faiths. For us, your love communicates the universal and the sublime. It is awe inspiring and humbling to be the recipients of great care.

Now we wait another six months for our next bit of news. We may discover that the summer brings another open heart surgery. We may discover that we have more time for our girl to grow before we cross that bridge again. The bottom line is that we aren't in charge of either of those outcomes. We are in charge of pouring out ridiculous love on the sweetest girl we know -- so we will move forward with that plan and find a million reasons to be thankful for this day --- and the next.

With Love & Gratitude,

Katie

Every Right In The World

From Tommy:

Do you forgive? Do you know how to really forgive someone? I’m not sure I do.

We are commanded to forgive. Jesus said in Colossians 13, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have with one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Whatever grievances. Not just the big obvious ones. That's hard. The small grievances seem to be hardest for me. I read a blog today written by a minister I admire; in fact, I had the chance to hear her preach last weekend in DC. Her blog talks about forgiving a man she strongly disagrees with – even though his speech and actions are hateful, cruel, and have even caused the death of another human being. The love she has for him is a Christ-driven love – one that reflects his creation as a child of God. WOW. She is a better person than I am. My forgiveness problem is worse than that, though. Not only do I struggle with forgiving people for big things, I can't seem to forgive folks for really little things that annoy me – or seem decidedly off mission for Christians. “Church people” can be the most difficult. Too many people look at their jobs in the church as just that – jobs. Christ and the opportunity to advance the Gospel often seem second (or worse) to individual agendas and pride. My thoughts turn even now to the many ways I could – and “should” tell them how I think they are wrong and what fools I think they are.

In fact, I have every right in the world to retaliate in some way.

The problem is that I have no right in Christ.

My choice is to follow the world – or be more of the man God made me to be.

Love your enemies, Jesus said. And if we believe in the authority of Christ, then I think it means we do to our enemies what Colossians 13 says...bear with them.

I can't help but wonder how we (I) live a Godly life if we (I) can't forgive. Also, how do they (I) live with themselves (myself) after treating others the way they (I) have – without asking for forgiveness. God has put up with a lot from me. So have other people. I suppose I can bear with a few people myself…

You know, there are not a lot of differences between Christians and non-Christians. Practically speaking, we don’t live very different lives. That’s a problem. There should be a remarkable difference. It’s the reason the mission of the church is often headed the wrong direction. It’s the reason that there is often conflict within church leadership. Our goal has become being “right” more than it is to love one another.

We need to be different. I want to be different. I am guilty of everything that bothers me about other people – and worse. “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst” (1 Tim 1:15). I need to accept God’s forgiveness for my mistakes – and I need to let other people off the hook too.
It’s hard to do - but I feel loved – and I even want the people that trouble me to feel loved as well. So I have to make a choice. Lord, help me to forgive and be a better person.

-Tommy

Dependence

On Independence Day Tommy and I had the beautiful opportunity to worship at a great church in Vienna, VA. The service was tremendous - full of powerful music, liturgy, and opportunities to hear the Word. More importantly, neither of us have ever visited a church where we have felt more welcome. From the moment we walked in, people were eager to shake our hands, introduce themselves, and ask a bit about us. It wasn't overwhelming or forced, and we weren't asked to stand or otherwise be singled out, we were just welcomed by a people clearly eager to share "their" church with a couple of outsiders. It was a great opportunity for us to enjoy worship together as a family -- and to see incredible people doing God's work in a different way in a different place.

We've followed the blog of that church's pastor for some time - and have come to admire him and his faith. Since we are always in a time of discernment and prayer about where/how God is leading us, we were happy to visit the church, worship, and just think. The sermon and the experience was powerful for both of us -- and we continue to process this season of our life through all that we have seen and heard in recent days and weeks.

The big question that we are challenged by is how we can make choices that lead us to God's best for our lives. "Good" is lovely, comfortable, and something we are capable of managing with some ease --- but is it God's best for our ministry, marriage, or family? The best we can do to answer that question is to think, pray, read, talk about it, and ask some people that we trust to help us in those activities. God's Word is as alive as it has ever been, and He is as vocal with us as he was with the figures on Sunday School walls -- so listening and being open to what we see and hear is a great place to start.

I have some friends who believe that people who believe in the authority of God and the worthiness of His Word and his work - lack the ability to think rationally. The suggestion is that all of us Christians are the same -- and that we are so desperate for comfort and hope -- that we blindly believe a myth rather than actually use logic.

Obviously I disagree. A blind adherence to religion may lack rational thought -- but a living faith requires a constant push & pull. I don't believe a series of facts - I believe in a relationship, a love, and a grace that cannot be "proven" scientifically any more than you can "prove" that you love your spouse, your Mom, or your child.

While faith is the assurance of things hoped for -- it is also the result of tangible experience, awareness, thought, reading, arguing...and doubt.

What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. -Hebrews 11:1

But he has always given evidence of his existence by the good things he does: he gives you rain from heaven and crops at the right times; he gives you food and fills your hearts with happiness."-Acts 14:7

For me, faith is not clean and pretty -- nor is it easy. It does involve an aspect of blindness -- just like my love for my husband, daughter, and family does -- but mostly it is a dynamic process.

Our daughter just celebrated her 2nd birthday. She's incredible. We loved partying with her and thinking about how we could make the occasion special. She is totally dependent on us -- and the foundation for how she feels about herself and her place in the world is being created right now -- before she even has a memory to record it. I heard someone recently explain that there is no reason to make a big deal out of birthdays or other events until kids are older - since they can't remember it anyway. I couldn't disagree more. Olive's brain is making more connections right now than it ever will again. Her experiences and interactions are crucial to the way she develops as a person. I don't care if she remembers a single detail of any one party, song, event, expression, or cuddle --- I do care that she lives her life aware of the fact that she has always been endlessly loved -- and part of a community of people who are willing to make a big deal about life. I care that she knows how to pour herself out for other people -- through service, expressions, and events. Besides, this life is temporary (James 4:14). What are we waiting for to celebrate anything we can?

The big deal for Tommy and me in our continuing challenge to be more of the people God wants us to be --and to live out His best -- is to realize and embrace the fact that we are dependent on God -- and that the formation of who we are continues under His care. Our desires for our daughter pale in comparison to God's desires for His children. So as we continue to think, pray, and seek where He wants us right now, we celebrate our independence by living dependent on Him.

Stone of Help

Stone of Help

Our pastor, a dear friend and leader, recently moved to a new job in the United Methodist Church. His work in our lives was powerful, sincere, and full of compassion and grace. He was a servant to so many people - and deserving of a parade, skywriting, or made-for-tv-movie. His humility, and our church budget, didn't allow for those accolades, however, ---- so we gave him a pile of rocks instead.

Rocks are powerful. They appear throughout the Hebrew Bible as demonstrations of strength, promise, and solidity. Of of my favorite moments is when Samuel sets a stone in the ground as a marker of the help God has provided.

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and named it Ebenezer; for he said, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." (1 Samuel 7:12 NRSV)

God's help is worth marking -- with a word of thanks, a quiet prayer, a party, a worship service, a barbaric yelp, an altar, a covenant, an act of service... or a vase full of rocks.

Ebenezers can look any number of ways. Our lives of course, built on the rock of our strength (Psalms 62:7), are the greatest offering we can raise.

The rocks in this vase are the symbols of each individual member of our congregation -- and they carry very specific prayers for our pastor and his family. They are mighty -- and the "strongest" gift we could give a man who has poured himself out for us.

On this Father's Day -- I want to mark with gratitude the love of my pastor, my incredible father, my amazing husband, and the God who created us to live in relationship with one another.

Here I raise mine ebenezer, hither by thy help I'm come...

Weird

You were born an original. Don't die a copy. ~John Mason

Elizabeth, one of my dearest friends here in Georgia, made a statement last year that really sticks with me. She had been growing in her faith and watching our little group of friends as we worked out our business with God -- and one night she said, "I see how God works weird in other people's lives, and it occurs to me that He might just work weird through me too."

I love that. It's not particularly profound -- but it really resonates with me. My life has been weird. My path from one thing to the next has been weird. My friendships, body, choices, humor, and relationships have been weird too. While it's not huge -- I've realized that I've always carried a wee bit of bitterness toward God about the fact that my life seems to be the weird one.

What I'm learning in this season of my life - and at this place in ministry - is that I'm not alone. Most people think their lives are weird too. We've believed the lie that "everyone" moves through one stage to the next with little resistance. The truth is that few people do. The "weird" path - turns out to be the average one.

The great news about the fact that our lives are weird -- is that God is in the specific business of dealing with weirdos. Jesus chose twelve people to stick tight with him when he stepped out to do some radical "weird" work. A few of his group were fishermen, some of them were related, one of them collected taxes, a few of them never seemed to "get it", others were great leaders, there were a couple enigmas in the mix, and all of them were definitely sinners -- even to the point of betrayal. Clearly "weird" was something Jesus felt comfortable being around.

If you have anything really valuable to contribute to the world it will come through the expression of your own personality, that single spark of divinity that sets you off and makes you different from every other living creature. -Bruce Barton

I love that my friends are eclectic, as is my reading, my politics, my taste, my path, and my faith. It's all real, and it's me, and it seems to be something God is willing to work through. I am in process -- and process isn't always pretty.

But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it. -Numbers 14:24

Mom

There's nothing like a mama-hug. -Terri Guillemets

My mother is coming next week for a 6-day visit. I can hardly wait.

I'm ready for a mama hug.

(Mom & Great Uncle Richard)

My Mom is extraordinary -- easily one of the greatest gifts God has given me. While there are a million compliments I could pay my mother, the one that encompasses them all is to say that she truly understands grace. I have watched my mom behave humbly, choose not to say what she has every right to say, offer a new perspective when something seems daunting or painful, and forgive any number of people for any number of things -- without another word about it. If Mom happens to read this post, she will surely be embarrassed - and think of the times when she didn't quite hit the mark on one of those things I just mentioned. I love when she does that. She is not righteous - nor is she perfect. But the world doesn't need perfect mothers. The world needs mothers who understand unconditional love. I'm lucky enough to have one who does.

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My worth has never been at stake. In the thousands of ways I have fallen short over the last 32 years, and the many consequences and "punishments" I have carried as a result, I have never once wondered if I was still loved and of immeasurable worth. Why? Because my mother told me so. Long before I knew the words to "Jesus Loves Me" or had the opportunity to read and understand the Word - I had a mother whose grace was running ahead of my choices. I first met Christ in the form of two welcoming arms, an encouraging word, a kind gesture, and a knowledge that there was nothing I could ever do to separate myself from her love.

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The God-light in my mother has lit the way for me to know that such love does exist.

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There is nothing greater than love - and yet it cannot be measured, quantified, or explained. Prove that love is real. Follow the scientific method and search for a tangible way to demonstrate the reality of love - and you will come up short. And yet - it is the most real thing in life. At the end of the day, love is all I really care about. I guess I have to call that faith.

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Grace is the demonstration of true love.

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Justice is getting what you deserve.

Forgiveness is not getting what you deserve.

Grace is getting what you never deserved in the first place.

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My mom has offered me a million clean slates, and because of her love, I can fathom the love of a Savior.

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Thanks, Mom. I love you.

Happy Mothers Day!

(My other favorite mothers -- my sisters!)

Trying to be Justified

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law.

You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. "A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be. Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished.

As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves! You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. --Galatians 5:1-15

My father is part of a weekly men's Bible study that has met together for a number of years. They're a great group of guys who challenge one another, think, discuss, and pray together every week. They don't always agree -- which is a good thing! We need to be challenging what we hear from our brothers & sisters in Christ, our pastors, evangelists, and authors. Since we have the opportunity to read the Word for ourselves, and be in relationship with a living God, then we can judge if what we are being told speaks to the truth we know. Sometimes it is the still small voice in us that is the best mediator.

One man in Dad's study was arguing a point a few months ago - and ultimately said something along the lines of, "I wish there was just a clear list of rules so we knew what was wrong and what is right." Apparently they had been discussing some social issue, behavior, condition, or choice -- and found themselves on both sides of the issue. My dad responded by explaining that God had already tried that.

It's true. The "law" has been tried. Jesus came to abolish the law and offer a new covenant and a new commandment: a relationship with God - and a pretty clear instruction to love our neighbors as ourselves. We can either keep arguing about who is in and who is out (who is circumcised and who is not) or we can move past that and work on forming ourselves into the image of a God whose justice is only outmatched by His grace.

Christian bumper stickers drive me crazy. Lots of "Christian" things drive me crazy. For example, I have no idea why the church wants to be identified by their stand on homosexuality above all else. It makes me incredibly sad. In a world where marriages are often unhealthy, broken, or shallow -- why is the church focusing on who shouldn't be in love --- instead of what God has to say about love in the first place? Besides, the Christian community is doing a poor job of maintaining marriages - since the statistics for divorce run from 40-50% in Christian and non-Christian marriages. Perhaps that is the case because so much of our energy is devoted to creating boundary markers and feeling incredibly righteous about the side of the "law" we fall on.

Jesus spent a lot of time talking about gossip and judgment -- but I have rarely seen Christians carrying signs and pasting bumper stickers that have anything to do with that. Jesus had a lot to say about the use of money & talent -- but those things don't seem to find their way on signs either. The Bible I read talks a lot about divorce -- but I don't see churches dividing over whether or not their pastors are divorced.

Paul said, "You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

If that is the only thing that counts -- then we need some new PR people in the Christian community. What we represent needs to be the love of God --- not our own desperate need to be "right" or the limitations of a law that was declared dead over 2000 years ago.

The only thing that counts is FAITH expressing itself through LOVE.

Now that would be a great bumper sticker.

He Loves You Anyway

Published in Alive Now

March/April (2010):26-27

"Speaking Truth to Power"

Ashby, a precocious six year old in my previous church, received a "no" from her mother, Nancy, in response to something she had asked for. Ashby, clearly devastated by this answer, stared her mother in the eyes for some time before tucking her head close to her heart, raising her hand to her lips, and whispering something unclear into her chest. She then paused, looked up, turned her ear to her chest, and listened. Nancy watched all of this with curiosity, waited a few minutes, and then asked Ashby what she was doing. Ashby replied hands on hips, "I told God what you said." Clearly Ashby had appealed to a higher authority who would perhaps bring justice to this unreasonable ordeal. Nancy paused and then asked Ashby, "Well, what did God say?" Ashby ex-haled, rolled her eyes a bit, and replied, "He said he loves you anyway."

Ashby’s actions were a bold but peaceful challenge to the authority she was under. These types of challenges, even in Ashby's small way, are a risky business — especially when we are uncertain of the outcome. Bold language and actions that support our convictions are effective ways to disagree peacefully. They work because they create a breach in the sys-tem, a threat to those in power. Jesus’ threat came as promises about a new authority under the reign of God. When Peter told the Sanhedrin, "There is sal-vation in no one else; for there is no other name un-der heaven given among mortals by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12), he subverted the hierarchy of his day. His boldness not only claimed a higher au-thority than empire, it issued an inclusive invitation for all people.

In verse 13 we learn that the boldness of this witness had an effect on the Sanhedrin. "Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John and realized that they were uneducated and ordinary men, they were amazed, and recognized them as companions of Jesus." Peter’s words, like Ashby’s, were effective because they were authentic. Honest words from "ordinary" people can have great power, even if their full implication isn’t known at the time.

We too have the opportunity to speak to an authority higher than any law, bondage, or injustice. In large and small grievances, we need only speak to our hearts and listen to the God of the universe who speaks back into our lives. Our authentic witness will strengthen our words and allow the Holy Spirit to work in the lives of listeners. That relationship and a simple and entirely radical message can still subvert the empire: God loves us anyway.

-Katie Carson Webster

Stand Up Under It

"For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers, that our forefathers were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ."
...
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
-1 Corinthians 10:1-4, 13

As you know, Tommy and I are challenging ourselves in some big ways this season of our lives. God has been so faithful to us as we have worked to accept His forgiveness for our past - and to forgive ourselves. It's not an easy task. I've always loved listening to preachers talk about the idea of offering difficulties at the foot of Christ and being "washed in the blood", but it hasn't come easily for me. I lay things at the foot of the cross, enjoy a moment or two of freedom, and then make sure to collect my items on my way back up to my feet. I would feel lost without them afterall! They are mine. There is part of me that relishes in my junk. It's sad - and I can claim that I don't want to keep carrying the same issues around - but until I discipline or "purpose" myself to take action --- I'm living in a continuous sitcom -- where everything is ultimately the same at the end of the day. No matter how many times Uncle Jessie or Dan sits on the end of DJ's bed and has a heart-to-heart, you can be sure to find similar shinanigans the next time you tune in.

The bottom line is that we all make choices every day that lead to consequences. If we wanted our lives to look different - we would make different choices. Sure there are events that are out of our control - but for the most part - we are all living the lives we have chosen. My Sunday School class (whom I love dearly) recently did a study on creating margin in our lives. The study included some DVDs with Andy Stanley, but it was the discussion with my friends that was super helpful. It's no fun living near the tipping point. Living with some space around the edges is healthy.

Many of us have turned things that God intended as blessing - into idols. Our jobs, spouses, children, belongings, bodies -- and on and on -- have become the biggest "sin" in our lives. Drugs, sex, and rock & roll are the least of my worries! My relationship with Christ is most often compromised by everyday "good" things.

Giving into temptation and refusing to access the power in our spiritual muscles ultimately leads to weakness and burnout. The good news is that no temptation that has "seized" any of us is beyond what God will be faithful to provide a way out of. We are not encountering anything new -- and we cannot be conquered if we are strong enough to stand up under whatever it is. What I am dealing with is common to man. What you are dealing with is too. God has seen it all before...

Tommy and I recently joined the Y to strengthen some of our weak muscles. I'm hoping the treadmill is the first step on the road to discovering healing balm in Gilead.

Sweet Times....

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well. Remember Your Creator While Young Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all. --Ecclesiastes 11:5-8

Katie works in Savannah, and I work at our church here in Springfield. In order for her to get to work on time and still get a good night's sleep, we have worked out a system in the morning. We all get up at the same time - and while Katie showers & gets ready for her work day, I wake up Olive, feed her breakfast, and get her ready for "school". While we have a lot of family time together, and Katie has some evenings alone with Olive while I'm in meetings or rehearsals, my time with my girl is early in the morning. This is my sweet time. Our alarm sounds at 6:00am and I am off to Olive's room to wake her up, if she is not up & chatting already. I dress her (in the outfit Katie has already picked out) and we play with our dog Lilly before we play "I'm gonna getcha" all the way into the kitchen. (I have occasionally strayed from dressing Olive in the outfit Katie has preselected for the day -- and it has not been met with appreciation...)Olive runs and laughs down the hallway as I chase her. She must think I'm the slowest Dad in the world because I haven't managed to catch her one single morning of her life. I fix her breakfast and she usually eats while I get her juice and snack ready for the day. But sometimes -- she wants me to stay right with her. These are truly sweet times. She laughs, pretends she's not going to put the spoon in her mouth, or offers her oatmeal to Lilly and me. After her breakfast, she is ready to see Mama, and so again we play "I'm gonna getcha" to the bedroom where she finds Mama getting ready. We all sometimes lay on the bed for a minute, talk about the day, or tickle Olive while she pretends to go back to sleep. This family time early in the morning is priceless to me; I wouldn't trade it for any thing. I think about this time almost everyday after they leave. How lucky am I to have this sweet time with Olive? I think of my life as a blessing with Katie and Olive -- this time with them is my "success." These are just my thoughts for this morning...

-T

Community Supported Agriculture

Delicious! This is our Friday delivery of organic fruits & vegetables from Heritage Farms in Guyton, Georgia. They were the first certified organic farm in the state - and continue to be leaders in sustainable agriculture. They barter and trade with other local farmers - in addition to growing their own amazing foods - and have created a really cool system for getting local produce. While we aren't particularly attached to organic --- we do care about supporting local farmers and getting food for our family that is healthy and fresh. (For those of you who are shocked by this revelation -- this is one of our new challenges this year!) Tommy Webster really didn't eat vegetables prior to this past few years. He enjoyed a salad - and maybe some asparagus (cooked the way he likes it) every now & then - but was otherwise totally out of the vegetable market. But he has jumped in to our challenge! He loves discovering what is in our box -- and even adding new things that we find when we go to the farm. It turns out that his competitive streak is stronger than his obstinate one! So -- we are eating healthier and working to be strong examples to Olive. This week we didn't have anything too out of the ordinary in our box: some fresh lettuce, cucumbers, avocados, grapefruit, pear, new potatoes, green beans, strawberries, & tomatoes. We had a delicious weekend -- and are looking forward to dinners this week!

Refuge

My grandmother Olive Dale, for whom our daughter Olive is named, passed away three years ago this month. She was such an incredible woman and is certainly part of the cloud of witnesses I rely on to cheer me through my days on this side of the veil. She was a strong, strong woman. Among other things, I admire her for her strength, integrity, wisdom, and work ethic. She went to college well before it was a reasonable thing for women to do. She hopped on a bus in small town West Virginia -- and headed to Detroit to support the war effort during WWII. She taught in a one room schoolhouse. The list goes on an on. My favorite thing about my Grandma Dale, however, was her feisty personality. Let me just make my point: I love my Grandma because she taught me how to cuss. She was a good Christian woman - don't get me wrong - but she also knew how to place a well timed "jack ass" to get the maximum effect. What a great phrase. You can argue that it is Biblical if you feel the need to rationalize your exclamations --- or you can just run with it. Grandma understood timing -- so her "jack ass" came immediately after a brief pause -- and was followed by a nod, and a slight curl in her lip that let you know she meant business.

We never argued with Grandma about the merits of the person who had received the title. Afterall, Grandma lived well into her nineties and had surely cultivated the ability to tell a jack ass from a regular jack. Who was I to argue with age and wisdom? Besides, even in my minimal thirty year experience with jack asses - I had come to recognize that Grandma was nearly always correct in her summation and ensuing proclamation.

Grandma died three years ago with incredible grace. She had given away most of what she owned, lived sparingly (as she had her whole life), celebrated everyone else's accomplishments, and looked forward to a visit from most anybody. Oh - and she also cleaned up during nursing home Bingo games. She hadn't been a fan of Bingo until she realized that most of the residents, though younger, didn't have their "wits about them" and she could take them at Bingo. She was mighty proud of her nickle and dime Bingo winnings that sat in a cup in her dresser. In her final days we all gathered around her and sang hymn after hymn - and told story after story. She had scripture and verse painted on her heart -- and loved to sing praises even as other words or memories failed her. She was a believer -- not in a righteous way based on tradition and a sense of doing what is "right" -- but in the relationship with a living God kind of way. She was ready to go "home" and found her way there one day in April.

My Mom & Dad have spent the years since that time designing and building a cabin in West Virginia in her honor. Grandma loved family time -- as does my family -- and a place where we can all be together in the sweet and fragrant hills of West Virginia is the best tribute to Grandma Dale. "Olive's Lodge" has recently moved from being a vision - to a reality. My dad, mom, and brothers have spent countless hours building this beautiful retreat -- refuge -- for all of us to escape from the rest of the world and find some peace and new energy by being with people we love.

Each of us has a room that we are responsible for preparing for our family. My recent trip home afforded me the time to get our room together. Tommy wasn't able to take time off from work this time, so I took pictures to show him our little space in the hills. While Grandma is always on my heart, she seems especially present there - perhaps that is because I see so much of her in my mother and siblings --- especially considering how much they cuss...

If you have anything really valuable to contribute to the world it will come through the expression of your own personality, that single spark of divinity tht sets you off and makes you different from every other living creature.

-Bruce Barton